Cast your mind back to the early months of 2020. There are dreadful images coming out of Italy whose health system in the north is being overwhelmed with elderly patients who have succumbed to a particularly virulent form of coronavirus. Their government institutes draconian travel restrictions and it becomes obvious that we will soon be forced to do the same here. Lockdown poses a huge challenge, very particularly to those of us over 70, and also to our business, which I very much doubt can survive. And then I hit on the idea of ‘Teatime at the Ritz with Tricia.’
Why? Because having tea at the Ritz symbolises everything we are about to lose: our freedom to travel, our ability to meet our friends and our access to any kind of celebratory, indulgent and pleasurable treat in an opulent setting.
But what if I created a video every day and sent it to all our customers and followers at 4pm, and we imagined that we’re all sitting together at the Ritz, possibly wearing elegant hats and having the best possible time, eating delicious treats surrounded by all our friends? If you watch that very first video (of sixty or more) sent out on March 23rd 2020, you’ll see that I called it ‘Be Kind to Yourself’ and I started by conjuring a kind of wartime spirit of endurance by understanding the seriousness of the situation whilst finding ways to keep up our collective morale. In that video I suggested creating a box of treats and filling it with whatever goodies might lift our spirits at moments when the enforced isolation was really getting us down.
That first video had over 12,000 views and resonated so strongly with so many people that, as a business, Look Fabulous Forever inevitably dipped but never went into an irrecoverable nosedive. It was also helped by our creating a special private Facebook Group called Tricia’s Super Troopers, again invoking that wartime spirit with our motto as one of Winston Churchill’s favourite aphorisms: KBO or ‘Keep Buggering On’, which was really all we could do.
Teatime at the Ritz and Super Troopers dovetailed beautifully last Friday when, four and half years after that first dreadful lockdown, I actually went to the Ritz in Piccadilly for the first time in my life and met fellow star Trooper, Lynn Brogden and her daughter Donna to enjoy one of those imagined and truly fabulous teatimes. The occasion was a celebration offered as a prize to the best story in a competition we ran called ‘Try Something New.’ We had lots of great entries but I chose Lynn as the clear winner. Why? Because her decision to eschew the hair dye she’d applied for donkey's years in order to allow her hair to go white had proved to be extremely challenging, mainly because Lynn associated white hair with looking old.
Well, I am delighted to report that Lynn looks fabulous with her amazing white hair, and she, her gorgeous daughter Donna and I had a truly memorable and enjoyable couple of hours together. Tea from a selection of twenty different varieties including Jasmine Dragon Pearls, was served in silver pots and porcelain cups (with a tea strainer) and there were finger sandwiches on six different types of bread with delicious fillings like Scottish Smoked Salmon with Lemon Butter. The next course was scones, cream and jam, and that was followed by a choice of cake. We all chose the Carrot Cake, perhaps in some vain attempt to have one of our five a day! We had a charming waiter who was attentive throughout and the whole experience was an absolute treat.
All of which has made me realise that we shouldn’t need the dire circumstances of a life-threatening virus and being deprived of our free movement to be kind to ourselves.
Why We Should Always Treat Ourselves Kindly.
Because we’re in the last quarter of our lives and if not now, when?
Because happiness is in small everyday indulgences not the Big Occasions
Because if you’re not kind to yourself why should anyone else be kind to you?
Because ageing is tough as was lockdown and treating yourself well makes life worth living.
The other day I was listening to Desert Island Discs, which is actually older than I am. Lesley Manville was the castaway and made for an interesting and delightful guest. As you all know, after the choice of 8 meaningful musical discs, castaways are asked for their book choice and ‘luxury item’ which should have no practical use whatsoever. I’d always thought I’d choose a soft, down-filled pillow, but Lesley asked for a whole bed made up with luxurious high thread-count bed linen and heaped with pillows. She really is my kind of girl!
Living the Life of Riley
I have no idea who Riley was, but I truly believe that he and I would get on famously. Why? Because in my own small ways I strive to live his life, however, I think you may be surprised to learn that many of my indulgences and treats don’t necessarily cost a fortune.
Supreme Comfort. Being comfortable has become more and more important to me the older I get. Shoes (above all), clothes, my sofa and my bed have to pass the test of joyful softness. As soon as I think ‘they’ll stretch’ or ‘it will soften with age’ or “Comfort Rinse will sort this out’, I know that I should swerve and avoid. I have just discovered cashmere sweaters in Uniqlo and have also bought a super soft, cosy cashmere scarf from NRBY in navy, pink, turquoise and pale grey stripes which will go with all my winter outerwear and give me a hug every time I wrap it round my neck.
Smelling Good and Looking Nice. Another indulgence: Chanel No. 5. Why? Because it’s a daily spray of luxurious glamour. And a big bottle lasts for ages, so each spray is pennies rather than pounds. I’d include a daily application of makeup in the same category, which is also about granting myself the gift of time to sit at my mirror every morning to enjoy applying it. I kept that ritual going throughout lockdown, even on the days I wasn’t going out, and realised how important it was to my morale and well-being.
The Gift of Time. If nothing else, these later years bring the gift of slowing down and taking time to ‘stand and stare’ in the words of the William Henry Davies poem ‘Leisure’. What I appreciate most is the luxury of getting up when I feel like it. Sometimes I have to fight those internalised voices (my mother’s) that are condemning my sloth, but mostly I just turn over and doze for a bit longer. Utter bliss.
A Great Haircut. I remember my very first top-notch haircut. It was in London in a Vidal Sasson salon in 1968 when I was twenty-one years old. I had boring, poker straight, mousey brown hair, but after the stylist had worked his magic on my barnet, I was transformed. And guess what? Fifty five years later I still go to a Sasson trained hair stylist called Sean Jackson (who happens to be Aidan Turner-level gorgeous as a bonus) and my difficult hair is never any trouble. Yes it costs, but only about four times a year because Sean cuts it so well that it stays in great shape as it grows.
The Life of the Mind. Books, trips to the theatre, my local Curzon cinema and listening to podcasts are all ways that I live a culturally rich and fulfilling life. Last Saturday I went to a matinee of The Real Thing by Tom Stoppard for £35 on a senior ticket, which I can also buy at the cinema. All the podcasts that I listen to are also free and there are always bargains to be had on the books I download to my Kindle. To me, this is true wealth.
In real life, The Ritz is just as opulent and gilded as I had encouraged us all to imagine at the start of my Teatime videos. Walking in, you are transported to another era, one in which women wore slinky evening dresses, long silk gloves and jewelled headbands for dinner with men who all looked like James Bond.
Not much in evidence last Friday afternoon for tea, but a timely reminder, nonetheless, that such luxurious self-indulgence is a wonderful treat and one which we all deserve to enjoy every day in small but significant ways.
Tricia x
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