A Long Life - Blessing or Curse?
What Do You Think?
Comments 28
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4 Apr 2023
Really enjoyed reading this blog Tricia..
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4 Apr 2023
These blogs are becoming my personal life coaching site. I applaud your tenacity and creativity. Thank you for your insight and example. Your fan in the USA.
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3 Apr 2023
I don't know why I'm crying reading this blog.....all you wonderful women,at 79 I'll take inspiration from all of you.
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2 Apr 2023
An interesting read this morning Tricia.I married very young & am still married but it was a great mistake. I had 3 children by 27 & had no job except mother & homemaker which was pretty full on as HI worked in the fledgling IT industry. I never knew when he'd be home often working all night to fix problems. Like you I did a degree as a mature student and was just getting going on what could have been a career when I developed fibromyalgia which put paid to it despite spending a lot of money to try to recover. I did other things but made little money, not that I really needed or wanted to. Now illness has 'come crashing in ' as another of your contributors put it to what was a good retirement and at 70 I may not live another year. You are an exceptional woman and I hope you will have a long and healthy life ahead. One thing I feel you may be a bit over optimistic about is suggesting that women can delay children due to fertility technology & surrogacy. This is far from reliable yet as the desperate couples can attest to. We can't always have everything we would like and certainly not al at the same time. Choices must be made & that might exclude other possibilities. If I'd had a different life all I can be sure of is that it would have been just that - different but neither better or worse.
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2 Apr 2023
Hi Lynda
I am so very sorry to hear of your health challenges. I was very conscious when writing this that severe illness may put paid to my optimistic plans at any moment. This has recently happened to three of the husbands of my dearest and closest friends, so I know that curved balls may very well upset my own apple cart (sorry about that mixed metaphor!)
As to women and fertility, I agree that it's not straightforward. However other options are becomong more commonplace. My grandson's best friend is a twin, and both he and his sister were born as a result of surrogacy. My daughters both know several women who have 'IVF' babies and I have a close friend who gave birth naturally for the first time at 40 and the second time at 41. Both of my grandmothers had children in their 40s. Tx
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2 Apr 2023
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2 Apr 2023
I started to follow the 3 stages having married at 21 and had my two daughters by age 27. I too followed my husband due to his career but from Scotland to England. After divorcing at 40, I undertook post graduate training (the oldest person on my course!) gaining a MSc as well as a professional qualification, followed by another part-time university course 10 years later in order to diversify in my then occupation as a social worker. I was always conscious of having financial security and paid in as much as I could to my pension scheme (AVCs). I remarried aged 52 and retired aged 63 by which time I was a grandmother and helped one daughter return to work by providing childcare one day a week - very early start and late return home, but I loved it. Now at age 73, I belong to my local U3A and walk with two groups, am learning about Italian art and do yoga classes weekly. I am also a member of a local NWR and take part in their book group. I volunteer at the local Citizens Advice office as a trainee adviser - so much to learn! I do pace myself, however, as my energy levels are certainly not what they were and have ‘quiet’ days as well. I know I have a tendency to keep trying to push myself and maybe to prove to myself that I really am not that old! Rather than continuing to invest in ISA etc, I decided to help fund one daughter’s retirement pension as she has been a full time mother to her three children since she stopped working. Like all grandmothers I do worry about the future for my 5 grandchildren. I am fortunate, however, to be able to help fund their various activities and in any other way I can.