Whenever I am sleepless in the middle of the night in that horrible ‘dead time zone’ at around 3 a.m, instead of counting sheep, I play a mind game of thinking up categories and then seeing if I can come up with an A to Z list.
So, say, cars - Audi, Bentley, Citroen, Datsun etc... or animals - Aardvark, Bison, Cougar, Dingo and so on … or flowers - Anemones, Bluebells, Carnations, Dahlias, Eglantines, Freesias… and before long I have usually drifted off because the thing that was buzzing around my mind and keeping me awake can’t intrude on my thoughts as I struggle to come up with an animal beginning with ‘U’.
A few nights ago I challenged myself to come up with the A to Z of Positive Ageing.
I found it relatively easy to think of 26 ways that I am enjoying my life as an oldie. So here is my list and I’d love to hear what you’d add to your own if you find yourself unable to nod off in the wee small hours…
A: Attitude. Key to everything in my view as we age. I sometimes find that I am ‘thinking myself into being old’ and realise that I must fight this tendency with every fibre of my being. After all, I am ‘only’ 71 not 101 (now that’s properly old but I bet I won’t think so when the time comes…).
B: Beauty. I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said ‘beautiful young people are works of nature, beautiful old people are works of art’ and she was spot on.
Of course we can be beautiful when we are older, it just takes a bit more of an effort.
C: Confidence. The number one thing that you tell us that your Look Fabulous Forever makeup has given you in some research we have just carried out. And that fills me with more joy than I can tell you!
D: Dancing. Dance like no-one is watching, in fact, especially when no-one is watching. Strictly is back and I am to be found doing the Perfect Paso, Vivacious Viennese Waltz and Sexy Salsa in my sitting room every Saturday evening. Straight 10s from all the judges.
E: Exercise. NO EXCUSES! I was exhausted when I arrived in France for my hols, so I allowed myself to fully indulge my inner couch potato. It’s proving hard to get back into the routine of daily exercise, but I know that there is no alternative if I want to avoid seizing up altogether.
F: Friendship. Fabulous Female Friendships. Of my three closest friends who were each brilliantly supportive to me when my special grand-daughter India was so sick, one has had cancer, one has a husband recently diagnosed with cancer and the other has a husband with Alzheimers. I just hope that I am being a good friend to them in their hour of need.
G: Grandchildren. My oldest grandson has just turned 11 and is nearly as tall as I am. How did that tiny baby boy that I was so passionately in love with get to be so big? All five of my grandkids spent time with me in France this summer and it was an absolute joy to be surrounded by such happy, healthy kids.
H: Happiness. I am probably happier now than I have ever been because living a long life gives you a better perspective from which to view whatever is happening. ‘This too shall pass’ works for me every time I am feeling down.
I: Image. Taking time and trouble over one’s appearance can be seen as shallow and vain or as a symbol of good mental health. Allowing myself the time every morning to put my face on, do my hair and wear some nice clothes may be self indulgent or, as I see it, as a sign of self worth.
J: Joy. I’m with Marie Kondo on surrounding yourself with whatever sparks your joy. It’s the simple daily pleasures which spark the most joy for me, whether it’s that first cup of tea in the morning or climbing into the most comfortable bed in the world at the end of the day to read my book.
I try never to take any of it for granted.
K: Kindness. We’re living in challenging times here in the UK and what seems to have become lost is kindness towards and respect between people with different views. In my opinion, whatever the eventual outcome, there’ll be no winners. And the permanent loss of civility in our society would be the greatest loss of all.
L: Look Fabulous Forever. Nearly six years in and I am still amazed almost every day by the wonderful feedback from our customers about how much you love what we stand for as a beauty brand which celebrates rather than castigates ageing.
M: Makeup. A daily pleasure and a daily miracle as my face goes from drab to fab in about 15 minutes. I’m sure I don’t need to convince any of you, this makeup does what it says on the tin. And I am very proud of that.
N: Niceness. Believe it or not, I made a decision to be nicer when I was in my mid-forties. Up until then I had believed that it was important to fight your corner or others would take advantage of you. Then I realised somewhat belatedly that you attract a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.
O: Optimism. Apparently optimists live longer than pessimists which doesn’t surprise me. I have always believed that expecting the best whilst accepting that the worst might happen is the only way to have a happy life.
When the worst has happened to me I have (optimistically) believed that things will eventually get better. And they always have.
P: Primers. Our three best sellers from day one, and still flying off the shelves. We have one customer who regularly buys 4 of our Smooth Like Silk Face Prime at a time. I have always wondered if she loves the silky smooth effect so much that she uses it all over her body!
Q: Quality of life. I am so happy to be living at a time of increasing longevity. Who wouldn’t want to live a longer life given that choice? But a long life with no quality of life is a different matter. That’s why I watch my diet, exercise regularly and do all I can to keep my brain active.
R: Renaissance. Rebirth at the age of 65? Deciding to start a business in an area (beauty) of which I had no experience was both mad and also made complete sense to me. I passionately believe that we are never too old to take a new direction in life, to continue to challenge ourselves and to stay open to new learning and new possibilities.
S: Style. Difficult to quantify but we know a stylish woman when we see her. My best advice would be to create a ‘signature’ style, maybe with colour or accessories and stick to it. I was recognised by one of our customers in a French motorway service area when driving through France because I was wearing a jazzy, colourful pair of earrings!
T: Time. Tempus Fugit. Time waits for no man. Why does time seem to be speeding up the older I get? Apparently that sense of time passing more quickly is because we have unvarying days (unlike children who are learning new things all the time). So the answer is clear, slow down time by switching it up as often as you can.
U: U Matter. So many women feel bad if they behave (in what they see as) selfishly. So, any time they spend on themselves is seen as self indulgent. You aren’t a bad wife, mother or grandmother if you occasionally allow yourself to say ‘no’ to the demands of those closest to you.
V: Vivacity. Dictionary definition: ‘Life; animation; spiritedness; sprightliness’. Not words that are often associated with older people but useful watchwords when it comes to our demeanour. I try not to shuffle and slouch when I walk because I think it makes me look ancient.
W: White Hair. I absolutely adore beautifully cut white hair and know that many women who have allowed their hair to go grey or white get lots of compliments. And, dare I suggest, I think artificially dark hair can be more ageing than the very thing you are trying to cover up.
X: Xtraordinary. Jeanne Socrates is 77 and has just sailed alone around the world in 340 days without any backup or support. In response to questions about her age she said “I do think at my age you have to be a bit crazy. It helps fend off the perfectly rational reasons why you shouldn’t be doing certain things.” Well said Jeanne, you are extraordinary!
Y: Youthfulness. Why is youthfulness the only way to age successfully? Why do we celebrate older actresses (who have often had a ton of plastic surgery) for looking eerily youthful?
I am 71 and I am not interested in looking younger but I am interested in looking fabulous.
Z: Zizzing. Last word to Shakespeare: ‘Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleave of care, the death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath, balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course, chief nourisher in life’s feast.’ Amen to that!
I read every one of your comments and enjoy the participation that my blogs often generate. Do tell me what you would include in your A-Z list of positive ageing so we can all be inspired.
P.S. Due to popular demand we are re-opening our Wimbledon pop-upon Tuesday 1st October 2019. We'll be holding a VIP event, 5pm - 7pm, where you and one guest can meet me and some of our brand ambassadors. For a chance to win a pair of tickets, email email@example.com but hurry there are only 10 places! We'll let you know if you're one of the winners by Monday 30th September 2019.
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I absolutely LOVE this list. It's so positive and inspiring. I always played that game with my chidlren when they were young but never thought about using it for myself during bouts of sleeplessness. I would just add P for Purpose, wherever you may find it. It's what gets us out of bed in the morning and gives our life meaning. I have just signed up for your weekly blog and look forward to reading more like this. Thank you.
A lot of it I do already but would be interested in make up etc . I’m 68 yrs going on 69 and do ike fashion ,casual gear and cosmetics. Thank you .
Hello Tricia, thank you for your A-Z. So enjoyed time out reading with my morning coffee. I am 77 self-emploed and still full time working, I started my business over 40 years ago Having always worn makeup, but never too bothered with changing brands in fact at times makeup really bored me, but I have always been interested in skincare products I am a skin care junkie My lifestyle is is "out of the main stream" Living and working in a village where mobile phones do not work. In fact I don't own one. All business is conducted by e-mail or phone. So I don't see too many people (but I have animals) I knew I had to get some "new expereiences" in my life and started with Kettlewell colours which I love and it has led me to you Well what can I say - just look at my orders - I've even bought a make-up case. Thank you I love your products - and my new found confidence NB: your containers are very familiar xx
Love the A -Z and as we live in an over 55 community which has a group to celebrate growing old happily, I am printing it off for our next meeting! I am now 75, but just can’t believe it, as inside I am still 45! We have had a couple of really rough years, with me having breast cancer, followed by , as a result of radiotherapy, microscopic colitis. Then the following year two nasty falls resulting in hospital. My husband started with a detached retina, followed by a worsening of his prostate cancer, then a tumour on his pituitary being removed, But we are both fighting fit again and we celebrated our Gold Wedding and my husband’s 80th this year and looking forward to many more happy years! I am going to buy one of your gift cards for my friend Linda for her birthday and Christmas, as Love your make up!