One of the pleasures I have had since we launched our challenge to all of you to ‘Try Something New’ has been reading all the myriad ways that our competition entrants have been pushing themselves outside their comfort zone to embrace new places, new learning, new experiences and new activities. One or two have come about because of a change of life circumstances, like the loss of a beloved partner after long years of marriage. For another it has been about finding new love after many years spent in a coercive and controlling relationship. For a few the ‘something new’ has involved training for a new career or to pursue new business ventures.
Our winner, Lynn Brogden has done none of those things but, to me, she has done something which is immensely difficult to do at the age of 76 in our ageist society: She has overcome her fear of looking ‘old’ by finally allowing her very dark brown dyed hair to go grey.
I’ll let Lynn tell her story:
“At the beginning of the year I had a conversation with my hairdresser about going grey. She thought it was a good idea as I was certainly grey under my dark brown colour. We discussed what she could do to make the transition acceptable for me. I went home and completely dismissed the idea in my head. I carried on with my monthly trim, and colouring my hair myself, as I have done for decades. She never mentioned what we had discussed again, nor did I. At the beginning of August I went on holiday with my son and grandson. I obviously spent a lot of time on the sunbed under the brolly, people watching, occasional dip in the pool and loving every minute, but I started to think about my hair. If my hair was its natural colour, I could go in the pool and not worry that the chlorine could strip out some of my colour, and maybe...being grey would not be so bad!
I think in our head we tend to think...grey hair...'old'. Well I think that's what I thought. Anyway there and then I decided it was the right time. I returned home and found lots of styles of short grey hair online, made an appointment with my hairdresser, and feeling a bit nervous, but in no way wanting to change my mind she started to strip the colour from my hair, it did take some time and it didn't all come out, I had to have a second treatment, but I am almost there.
I love it! Definitely the right decision, the right time. My hairdresser said I wasn't ready in January, but she knew I was this time. I actually feel liberated, and grey does not mean old. I don't feel old, I don't look old. I do look different, and I still get a shock when I look in the mirror as it's only been three weeks, but definitely the right decision. I am freed from having to colour every two to three weeks, freed from the time it takes, and freed from the cost. Released! It has certainly been a challenge, it has changed my thinking....Grey is just a hair colour like blonde, brown, red, it doesn't turn you into an old lady. I have a spring in my step, I am walking tall, I'm the same person, but with a new outlook.
I would say to anyone thinking about embracing the grey, go right ahead, you won't suddenly turn 'old', you can still have a funky style, and you really can still look "Absolutely Fabulous" too.”
I loved Lynn’s story for so many reasons. For a start our ‘crowning glory’ is central to our sense of self and wellbeing. You only have to read the stories of women who lose their hair during cancer treatment to know how much importance we attach to both having a full head of hair and also its condition, style and appearance. The second thing is the way that hair is a signifier of youth, vitality and attractiveness. Young women can style their hair however they wish and will be applauded for its length, lustre, volume and the beauty of its colour, whether that’s black, brunette, blonde or red. And, for very many women, the first strands of grey are met with alarm, and so starts the cycle that Lynn had embraced of doing everything necessary to keep the dark brown colour of youth way beyond the point that it was either convenient or appropriate for her life.
Psychologically Lynn has had to overcome an enormous challenge to embrace her new look. Her hair was dyed a deep, dark and rich colour and was also a huge part of her style and personality. Older men are allowed to become sexy and attractive ‘silver foxes’ but that’s just not true for older women, which is why Lynn associated grey hair very negatively with the notion of looking ‘old.’
You can see the change in the photographs, and I agree with Lynn that she now looks terrific with her natural hair colour. So, Lynn, I salute your bravery and very much look forward to meeting you for tea at the Ritz on October 18th for a well deserved treat to celebrate your new ‘silver vixen’ look!
Our Eleven Runners-Up were also very inspirational and will all win one of our LFF Makeup Palettes and are, in no particular order:
Marian who hated all sports and P.E. at school but who has started playing Pickleball and, at 69, has discovered that she can serve and return a ball and also woken up muscles asleep for a very long time.
Patricia has started pole walking and on a trip to northern Scotland with her group called Walkx she decided to do some cold water swimming by taking a plunge into one of the lochs which she described as ‘a bit nippy’!!
Caroline was in a coercive and controlling relationship for 37 years and constantly told that she was frigid, unloveable and unattractive. LFF makeup has helped her to feel more beautiful and Sally’s videos have inspired her to believe that you are never too old to enjoy yourself. The result is a relationship with a kind, quiet,and gentle man and, at 68, Caroline is looking forward as someone ‘who does deserve love and respect’.
Maureen recently achieved two milestones. One was starting to paint in watercolour and the other (at 78) was to trek for 8 miles with her two daughters from Puerto Pollensa to Cala Bouquer beach and back. It was steep and rocky and a long way but she made her girls proud!
Pam has taken her first solo cruise at 76 after losing her beloved husband Paul in February. Pam has always been shy and lacking self confidence but overcame this and despite a few ‘wobbles’ and moments when she felt outside her comfort zone, she ended up feeling proud of herself and not afraid to do it again.
Joyce had always wanted to be a doctor but her parents didn’t allow it. Aged 50 she quit her job and applied to train as a Physician’s Assistant. She took out student loans and began fulfilling a lifelong dream. Now at 77, Joyce has finally paid off those loans and still works 2 days a week in family medicine.
Linda was inspired by my solo trip driving to the south of France in August to tell her husband that, after 16 years of letting him do all the driving, she wanted to drive again! She’s now acquired a small car of her own in which to regain her confidence and sense of freedom at the age of 74.
Pauline showing that it is never too late to get moving by joining a Keep Fit class at the age of 82.
Alison spent 40 years in nursing before retraining and becoming self-employed as a safeguarding and mental health first aid instructor. Next week she will add a Level 3 BTECH in Conflict Management to her portfolio and is teaching herself sign language. She’s also recently started watercolour painting and weight training 4 times a week.
Linda joined the Women’s Institute in 2019. She is part of a group of 10 exploring craft activities and techniques. Every year there is an area WI show involving a wide range of skills including produce, preserves, horticulture, flower arranging, confectionery, sweets, needlecraft and general craft, art and photography and a knitted charity item. Initially Linda just ‘looked on’ but this year, out of 1500 entries, she came second in two categories and third in four.
Jan Doble has had her ears pierced for the first time at the age of 70 which has opened up a whole new world of jewellery and she’s having fun choosing new items and spending money! And, after 25 years out of the saddle, Jan has taken up horse riding again. After initial apprehension and thinking she was too old, she is riding for 30 minutes every other week which she feels is right for her.
Huge congratulations to all our wonderful and very worthy winners and thank you also to all those who took the time to enter the competition, you may not have won a prize this time but every single one of you is winning at the game of life!
Tricia x
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